Treat yourself to a comfortable pair of proper walking boots, new if you can stretch to them or look for second-hand bargains on Ebay or in the charity shops.
Go to your nearest Tourist Information Centre and find out where the footpaths are in your immediate vicinity, or a little further afield if you prefer. Then pack a flask of your favourite brew, something savoury to eat and something positively naughty and energy boosting and take to the paths to explore the simple beauty that Mother Nature lays out before us every day.
The fresh air has a remarkable ability to blow the cobwebs out of our heads and the gentle pace you set with your feet can be positively meditative.
It might come as an awful shock if your doctor confirms one of your greatest fears; your divorce is causing you to suffer with anxiety or depression.
You are not alone, don’t worry. According to the UK’s Mental Health Foundation, around 1 in 4 people will experience some kind of mental problem in the course of a year.
Don’t fight the diagnosis or the recommended course of action and if your doctor advises you to take medication, don’t fear getting off antidepressants before you’ve swallowed a tablet.
Rather, consider the consequences of not paying attention to their informed judgement on your current state. All things pass and you will be back on your feet again in good time.
Accept the fact that divorce has the ability to completely liberate you and debilitate you too.
It’s a very powerful word and state of mind and its energy should not be underestimated.
Treat the entire divorce process with the utmost respect and do all you can to learn from experience.
After the event, find time for some careful analysis. Digest the lessons, really learn from them and build on them with a view to it never happening again.
Finding a good solicitor to represent you in your divorce, is a next to impossible task if you have no prior experience to draw upon.
Various Internet directories will present you with unfathomable lists of firms who may simply have paid the most amount of money to sit on the top of the respective list; top doesn’t qualify good.
Personal recommendation is unquestionably the best way to find somebody, but it doesn’t tend to be the sort of thing one talks much about.
In the first instance, contact friends or relatives who have personal knowledge of a solicitorius nature and ask them if they are OK discussing it, then bombard them with questions.
If you draw a blank, go through The Law Society’s worldwide selection process, find a solicitor, ask to see testimonials that you’ll be able to follow up, then do!
Major changes to your daily routine following a separation, can leave you with pockets of time you’d rather not have empty.
Any upheaval is likely to be part of a temporary phase and you will undoubtedly have nice events to look forward to in the not too distant future.
The problem is, the bit between now and then can often feel like a gaping chasm.
Find a local charity who you affiliate with and donate a few of your spare hours to them. They will be delighted to receive your assistance and it’ll give you lots of fresh activities to occupy your mind.
It’ll also open the door to a flock of new people and interaction with like-minded volunteers will create a healthy and healing environment for your mind to reside in.
If you have an occasional off day, don’t spend half of it giving yourself grief for feeling that way and the rest of the day searching for something shiny to lift your mood.
Sometimes, it’s good to just embrace a bit of stillness and if you choose to, feel sad about what’s going on, have a darned good cry about it, then pack all those thoughts away back in their box and let the feelings pass of their own accord.
Chocolate might help, tea might too (it most certainly worked for me) just be careful of temptations to steer towards unhealthy distractions, like excess alcohol or drugs.
Your inbuilt survival instincts will kick in after a while; all things must pass.
‘A divorce is like a death without a funeral’, so a learned soul once said; how true that statement is.
Living with the ghost of your ex in the early days can be extremely taxing, especially when they’re making more ‘noise’ following their departure, than they ever did whilst in your relationship!
If their audible vitriol is loud, take solace in the fact that it will eventually fade and go. However, when silence replaces it, that can be a double-edged sword, bringing a welcome end to their wittering but also a void where the noise once was.
Have a funeral for your relationship’s end. Take flowers to a water’s edge and throw in the petals as you close the door on your sadness and mark the event.
Everything goes back to the earth, including the energy from lost love.
If you have a garden shed full of your ex-partner’s tools and DIY equipment and they have no interest in removing them, it’s worth exploring the less painful routes to ridding yourself of them and ceasing those constant, niggling reminders.
Whatever you do, don’t throw the items out with the rubbish!
A little bit of internet research will uncover several charities who would benefit enormously from your generosity and would be delighted to take them off of your hands. A great many of them will service and repair said tools and send them overseas to countries where these commodities would be greatly appreciated and put to good use.
Hold on to a few bits if you must, but only if you think you might need them, then clear the rest out and enjoy the cleansing process of reclaiming your space.
If you are struggling emotionally, mentally or physically to adjust to your new situation, try hard to take a photograph of something beautiful every day.
It could be a spider on a cobweb from the dusting you haven’t done lately, or a flower poking through the weeds in the garden that you haven’t pulled up, or maybe a set of burnished brass studs on the leather chair in your solicitor’s office.
By keeping your focus on the beauty amongst the chaos, you’ll give yourself an interesting daily project that won’t take too long to accomplish and sometime soon, you’ll be able to look back on these images and recall what was going on at the time.
You’ll blink a metaphorical eye and your divorce will be part of your life’s history and eventually, the photographic record of the other things that were going on around you, might be a little more pleasing to peruse.
Try to let go of any plans of great substance you had with your ex partner.
Be they building a house from scratch, going on a world cruise, or climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, they are best laid to rest with the relationship.
However, you can now plough bountiful energy into re-hatching those plans, or better still, into forging entirely new adventures that better fit you and your new circumstances.
Conquering Mount Everest would give you an equally enormous sense of achievement and it would have the new you stamped all over it in glorious technicolour. Perhaps more importantly, it won’t have a tainted memory of, ‘Look what they missed’ attached to it either.